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Now, the first step to making this homemade pie is to put a storebought frozen pie crust into the oven. Ha. At least thatā€™s what I did. I was out of my frozen crusts and I didnā€™t feel like making one on the spot, so I used a storebought frozen one.

I am not ashamed.

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Now, if you really want to impress your friends, forget about the pie crust and come close to burning it, as I did above.

They'll be amazed at your talent!

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All of that's about to be forgotten, though, when you make this luscious pie filling, which is nothing more than chocolate pudding. (So consider this a chocolate pudding recipe, too!) Start by putting sugar into a saucepanā€¦

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With some cornstarchā€¦

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As a thickener.

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Add a little salt (about a fourth a teaspoon; don't be thrown off by the 1/2 teaspoon measure you see here, as I only added half. Don't be like me)ā€¦

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Stir it together gentlyā€”I say gently, because if you stir it violently or vigorously, you will create a cloud of cornstarch in your kitchen! And who needs that?!

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Now, pour in some whole milk. Normally, I'd say "or you can use 2% or skim milk" but in this case, I absolutely, positively insist that you use whole milk! You must! It makes the pie creamier and gives it the texture it needs. You can always use the skim milk on your Wheaties tomorrow!

Sorry for being bossy.

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Separate four eggsā€¦

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Pour in the yolksā€¦

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Then, stir it together and start heating it up over medium heat, stirring very gently but constantly.

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The bubbles will calm down and it will start to heat up and thicken. This will seem to take forever at firstā€¦

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But then, before you know it, it starts to bubble and boil! Right after it starts to boil and thicken, you need to remove it from the heat.

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Oh! I forgot to tell you that way earlier, I grabbed some bittersweet chocolateā€¦

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And chopped it really finely.

(Note on the chocolate: I have tried this pie with cocoa powder, with semi-sweet chocolate, with unsweetened chocolateā€¦ and I prefer bittersweet. You can play around with different types of chocolate to see what you like.)

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It's important to have the chocolate all chopped and ready ahead of time, because the second you pull the filling/pudding off the heat, you'll want to throw it right inā€¦

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With some vanillaā€¦

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And stir it around to start melting the chocolate, which will happen pretty much instantly because of how hot and lovely it is.

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The final step, of course, is to add a little butter for silkiness, flavor, and richnessā€¦

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And stir it until it melts. Again, this should only take about 4.2 seconds.

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Pour it into the baked (and cooled!) pie shellā€¦

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Then smooth it out, lick whatever you use to smooth it, and pop the pie in the fridge (uncovered) for at least three to four hours. You want it to be totally cool and set!

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This filling amount is enough for a deep-dish pie crust, so when I use a standard crust, I always have a little filling left over. So I just scoop it into little cupsā€¦

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And stick those in the fridge. Ready-to-go pudding!

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At long last! The pie is chilled and ready. And gorgeous. And seductive. And irresistible.

Just like Marlboro Man.

Heh heh.


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Cut a nice, big wedgeā€¦

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And, if you're serving it to my husband, just stick it on a plate.

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Positively perfect pie!

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If I'm eating it, though? Oh, how about some squirt whipped cream and a raspberry?

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How about some chocolate syrup?

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I actually forced myself to stop there, but I could have gone nuts (literally): Chopped pecans, chopped walnutsā€¦ and man, oh man, a drizzle of caramel sauce would be just decadent.

Make it today! It's the easiest pie ever! (Note that you could change it up and do an Oreo or graham cracker crustā€”totally delicious, too.)


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