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Those with a good sense of humor (or a keen passion for telling puns at any given time) know that Christmas is the perfect opportunity to bring out the holiday edition of all your favorite dad jokes! You're more than likely getting together with lots of family and friends. So, whenever you guys finally sit down for that Christmas dinner, it's the perfect time to unleash these silly family jokes! And if you think that you might need help coming up with a few one-liners, we got you! We curated a list of the funniest Christmas jokes to tell this holiday!
Whether you're looking for some cute holiday puns to impress your friends, or even some caption inspiration for your next holiday Instagram post, these Christmas jokes are the way to go. Oh, and they're especially great if you need help writing something in that last-minute Christmas card you just bought!
The best thing about these Christmas jokes is that they'll make anyone giggle, even during one of the most stressful times of year. After all, who wouldn't crack a smile at a one-liner about how a gingerbread man makes his bed? (With a cookie sheet, in case you were wondering!) And it's impossible not to laugh at the image of Santa cruising down the highway on a Holly Davidson motorcycle.
Give your friends and family the gift of laughter this year with the best Christmas jokes for kids, Christmas knock-knock jokes, and more. 'Tis the season for cheesin', after all!
Funny Christmas Jokes
- What do snowmen eat for lunch? Iceberg-ers.
- What do you call a greedy elf? Elfish.
- Why did Frosty's girlfriend break up with him? He was a total flake!
- What's every parent's favorite Christmas Carol? Silent Night.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? The abdominal snowman.
- What's the Grinch's least favorite band? The Who!
- Which one of Santa's reindeer has the best moves? Dancer!
- What's worse than a reindeer with a runny nose? A snowman with a fever!
- What did one cranberry say to another at Christmas? 'Tis the season to be jelly!
- Why wouldn't Ebenezer Scrooge eat at the pasta restaurant? It cost a pretty penne!
- Where does Santa always stay when he goes on any vacation? At the ho-ho-ho-tel.
- What is the Christmas carol that you can sing to fruits on the happy event? "Have Yourself A Berry Little Christmas."
- What does Santa do when the reindeer drive too fast? Hold on for deer life.
- Why do reindeer like Mrs. Claus so much? She sleighs.
- Who's Santa Claus's favorite pop star? It's Beyon-sleigh.
- Why did the snowman get lost? He didn't snow his way home.
- Why should Santa make an Instagram account? So he can sleigh for the world to see.
- Why is it always so cold around Christmastime? Because it’s Decembrrr.
- What did the icy road say to the truck? Want to go for a spin?
- Why are elves such great motivational speakers? They have plenty of elf-confidence.
- What do you call a Christmas rom-com about bread? Loaf Actually.
- What do you get when you cross a pig and Christmas tree lights? A porcupine.
- How did Mary and Joseph know Jesus’ weight when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger.
- What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum? A meltdown.
- Did you hear about what happened to the man who stole the advent calendar? He got 25 days.
Christmas Tree Jokes
- What do you get when you cross a pig and Christmas tree lights? A piglet!
- Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber? It needed to be trimmed.
- Where do you find a Christmas tree? In between Christmas two and Christmas four!
- How is a Christmas tree like a nice dog? It’s all bark and no bite.
- What’s another name for an artificial Christmas tree? Faux fir.
- What happens to Christmas trees on Valentine’s Day? They get all sappy.
- What’s the most frustrating thing about being a Christmas tree? Having so many limbs and not being able to walk.
- Who guards the Christmas tree? Tinsel-diers.
- Why did the Christmas tree go to the doctor? It was looking a little green.
- How are Christmas trees like blockbuster movies? They both have stars.
- How do Christmas trees get ready for a night out? They spruce up!
- What was the Christmas tree’s favorite shape? A treeangle!
- What is a Christmas tree's favorite candy? Orna-mints!
- What do you get when you mix a Christmas tree and an iPad? A pineapple!
- Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past? Because the present's beneath them.
- What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree? Christmas chopping!
- Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? They have too many needles.
- What happens if you eat Christmas decorations? You get tinsel-it is.
- Which former president planted the most Christmas trees? Wood-row Wilson
- How do Christmas trees get their email? They log-on.
- What did Luke Skywalker say after he planted a Christmas tree farm? May the forest be with you!
- How did the two rival Christmas trees get along? They signed a peace tree-ty!
- What do they sing to Christmas trees at their retirement parties? Fir he’s a jolly good fellow, fir he’s a jolly good fellow…
Christmas Jokes About Santa
- Which U.S. state is Santa’s favorite? Idaho-ho-ho!
- What brand of shoe does Santa wear? I don’t know, boots me!
- What’s the difference between Santa Claus and a knight? One slays a dragon, the other drags a sleigh.
- How do you know Santa is good at karate? He has a black belt.
- Who is Santa's favorite singer? Elfis.
- What was Santa's favorite subject in school? Chemis-tree!
- Which of Santa’s friends is the most chill? Jack Frost.
- Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws.
- What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck? A Christmas quacker.
- What's red and white and falls down chimneys? Santa Klutz!
- What did Santa say when he stepped in a puddle? It looks like it reindeer.
- What's Santa's favorite type of potato chip? Kringles!
- What do you call a broke Santa? Saint Nickel-less.
- Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it soots him!
- What is Santa's dog’s name? Santa Paws!
- What is Santa's favorite kind of candy? Jolly ranchers.
- What do you call it when Santa takes a break? A Santa Pause.
- How can you tell when Santa is around? He always makes his presents known!
- What was Santa's favorite subject in school? Geome-tree!
- What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride? A Holly Davidson.
- How much did Santa’s sleigh cost? It was on the house!
- What says “Oh, Oh, Oh” and wears a big red suit? Santa walking backwards!
- Why did Santa get a parking ticket on Christmas? He left his sleigh in a snow parking zone.
Christmas Knock Knock Jokes
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Holly. Holly who? Holly-days are here again!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Honda. Honda who? Honda first day of Christmas my true love sent to me…
- Knock, knock! Who's there? Elf. Elf who? Elf me wrap this present for Santa!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good Christmas joke?
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey know how long it is until Santa gets here?
- "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Yah." "Yah who?" "Oh my, someone's really excited about Christmas!"
- "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Santa." "Santa who?" "Santa Christmas card to you; did you get it?"
- "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Pikachu." "Pikachu who?" "Pikachu Christmas presents and I'll be mad!"
- "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Olive." "Olive who?" "Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names…"
- "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Oh, Chris." "Oh, Chris who?" "Oh Christmas tree, Oh Christmas tree…"
- "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Freeze." "Freeze who?" "Freeze a jolly good fellow, freeze a jolly good fellow…"
- "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Luke." "Luke who?" "Luke at all these presents!"
- "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Wayne." "Wayne who?" "Wayne in a manger…"
- "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Howard." "Howard who?" "Howard you like to go caroling with me?"
- "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Harry." "Harry who?" "Harry up and open your gift!
- "Knock, knock!" Who's there?" "Anna." "Anna who?" "Anna partridge in a pear tree.
- "Knock, knock!" "Who's there? "Dexter." "Dexter who?" "Dexter halls with boughs of holly…
- "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Santa." "Inter–Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!"
- "Knock, knock!" "Who's there?" "Mary." "Mary who?" "Mary Christmas!"
Senior Editor
Kelly O’Sullivan is the senior editor for The Pioneer Woman and manages the website’s social channels, in addition to overseeing content strategy and news.
